Shipping and Returns
Shipping is free!
Since our manufacturers and wholesalers ship their products directly to you -- usually from overseas -- your order may be affected by things like international holidays, customs, planetary alignment, and/or wildlife. Typically all of that averages out to two to three weeks until your plush pooch's paws are within yours, but in the event of a freak panda shower, may be delayed a few weeks.
If you have questions about a delayed product, email@example.com is how you get a hold of us. If it turns out that the distributor "shipped" it by duct-taping it to the back of a tortoise, and showing it a map to your house (see "wildlife" above), then we'll gladly discuss the situation with them, and see what we can do for you.
Here's the fun thing about international shipping: tracking is erratic. We'll do our best to get it to you as soon as it becomes available to us, but believe it or not, it's somewhat common to receive your package before the tracking site tells you when you're going to receive your package. Seriously... we know that's weird, but it happens.
It is also common for packages to not see updates in tracking for a week or more at a time. This usually means that the package is between countries, and has not yet been scanned in by your postal service.
We guarantee satisfaction! If there's any reason that you are unhappy with the thing, click here to start a return. We'll certainly ask why you want to return it, but you don't even have to tell us unless you want to. Or just make something up: caused your pool to catch fire... your pet snail prefers a different color... made your house smell like cinnamon and pork chops. Bonus points for creativity!
You have 90 days from when you receive the product, though. We gotta put our foot down somewhere, and this seems reasonable. Just... whatever you do, please don't ship it back to the manufacturer. They're set up to send, not receive. They're not used to getting things, so it will only result in hefty bucketloads of confusion. Please only do this if you don't care about your refund, and the thought of you confusing someone intrigues you.